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Tuesday, 23 March 2010

  • i have a C in english
    my teacher emailed my mom about my research paper
    i got a zero on the first draft
    all my other grades aren't just fine, but they're good.
    this is the best year i've had in high school.
    my mom fucking called in to work for me and quit my job.
    she has no fucking right to do that.
    she doesn't realize that's the money i use to feed myself and the money i use to pay for school and for books and for graduation and for grad bash and that  I DON'T ASK HER FOR ANYTHING.
    i don't ask her for rides, i don't ask her for money. i've literally been on my own for about two years now.
    fuck this
    this is the last straw.
    i'm not speaking to her. one word answers, not looking at her or anything.
    fuck that, that was too far.

Wednesday, 03 February 2010

  • wrote this for lit. of the arts

    and i really liked it :)

    Art is an interpretation of a feeling or an emotion. It is an impulse we have to recreate something as we see it or as we feel it should be felt. Art is something that has significance in its own realm. It is something we execute to send a message, to share a pleasure or a pain, a belief or a notion. Art can be interpreted by anyone and made by anyone; it is completely accessible. Art is passion mixed with creativity; it’s what I would call a product of life as a human and everything that comes with it.

                I am an artist in many ways. I draw, I paint, I sing, I sculpt, but I’m more than a collection of melodies and materials that have been decorated. I believe I am an artist because I contribute to something, a reality that is bigger than me. I’m an artist because things inspire me, and what I do with that inspiration inspires others. I believe being an artist is sharing yourself, or lending yourself out to the world and seeing what they do with it. It being anything that is a part of you, any feeling you give off, a hello you send, a stimulating purpose in your step that is noticed by others. I am an artist because I create things that don’t exist, things that no one has seen before but the inside of my head. I am an artist because I don’t always pick up a piece of clay and know what to do with it, I just create. I let things happen and warp them as I see fit to create a product that I feel has its own life. When something resonates its own growth or verve and I know I’ve created it, that’s when I know I’m an artist.

                I know I already have a legacy. I have a sketch book that has gone missing for about two years now and I’ve been yearning to see it, to see what others have added and to find out where else it’s been left. My own legacy is knowing that I have and will inspire others, knowing that I have been acknowledged, I have been noticed, and that I have been recognized. I don’t mean recognized as an artist but as a person. That I am someone who has a heartbeat, that I am someone who has a brain and that it ticks. My legacy is my friendships with those who know who I am and with those who know I am here. I know I will leave more because I have an entire life ahead of me and I want to be a teacher. I want to let kids know that teachers are people, and I want to be remembered as someone who made a difference in a future student’s life. I want to be a teacher who doesn’t just help someone understand math, but a teacher who understands students and adolescents and how life is a mess.




    p.s.
    hope you like it cristina :D

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    Letters I Never Plan to Mail
    By Wadirum
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    see related

Monday, 12 October 2009

  • so my family decided for me that i'm only applying to miami dade, and i decided for my self that i'm applying to miami dade honors.
    where i want to go is UF or BC.
    my dad doesn't have an income. he's also being selfish.
    my mom and i had a really long talk today about my relationship to the family, especially my dad, and how i always get the short end of situations and conflicts and how very under appreciated i am. we discussed how i've been taking care of myself since i was young, and how much i really take on, being the youngest child.
    it made me feel a lot better and now i know that someone else knows. even if they may be one of the reasons i bear so much weight, they understand.
    i think that is all i needed right now, recognition from someone in my family or someone who knows the ins and outs of my home life.

    i feel better.
    i got a bike. i'm pissed about it though.
    i did go for a nice bike ride though.

Saturday, 19 September 2009

  • things are better, kind of

    my boyfriend is a brilliant writer and i'm scared he will never see that they way i do.
    it sucks when you're trying to convince a friend that they're actually good at something but they won't accept because of your relationship to them. whether it be a parent or sibling, boyfriend or girlfriend, friend or acquaintance.
    i love the spell check on this.
    recently i've been really looking forward to the future, but i have no idea what it holds.

    i know that somewhere in it, i have a home and a bed with nick j. sinnott and we possibly have a dog or a cat or both.
    i know that i leave miami, at some point.
    i know that i teach math, art or something of the sort.

    sheesh.

    please sleep in vicky's room, please sleep in vicky's room.

AlfiE89

  • Visit AlfiE89's Xanga Site
    • Name: alfie
    • Location: Miami, Florida, United States
    • Birthday: 8/8/1991
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 3/26/2005

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  • i've lived in the same house my whole life. i'm getting married.

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